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That’s what was going through my mind the other day, computer geek…..Jesus freak. I was thinking, which to I verbally connect myself with more? See when I’m talking with people, and if we get on the subject of technology, computers etc… I proudly proclaim I’m a computer geek. I say it a lot, I’m proud of it, and I like being one. So I say it a lot when I’m talking about technology. But it got me thinking, do I say I’m a Jesus freak just as easy? Or even if I don’t use those exact words, do I say I love Jesus with all my heart in what I say? Am I proud of being a Jesus freak? Do I like being a Jesus freak? Yes I am proud of it, and yes I like being one, so why don’t I proclaim it just as easily?
So I started thinking of a ‘what if’ kind of conversation. Let’s say I’m talking with a friend, and we start talking about a verse, or the Lord or just the bible in general, and I picture myself saying proudly, “I’m a Jesus freak.” It just doesn’t seem right, it seems like I would be being prideful, boasting in my walk with the Lord, coming across like I think I’m better than the other person. Coming across like I think my walk in the Lord is perfect (which is far from the truth). Coming across like I think I know everything there is about the Lord. But yet I don’t think those things when I say I’m a computer geek. I’m not boasting about it, I’m just stating a fact. I don’t think I’m saying I know everything there is about computers, because far from it, I don’t. I don’t think I’m saying I’m better than someone else because I enjoy computers so much. When I say it, my only intention is to let people know something I like doing a lot. So why do I feel that way about speaking about how much I love the Lord? Why do I think that if I tell them I’m a Jesus freak they’ll start watching me more, waiting for me to fumble and fall, which I eventually will. Do I think people are now watching me to see if I fumble and fall in computers? Truly, I don’t care if they are, mistakes happen, I’m not perfect. And like I said, I don’t claim to know everything about computers, I just claim to like them. Why can’t I feel that content in stating how much I love the Lord? Why can’t I feel just as content that mistakes happen, I’m not perfect, I’ll fumble and fall in the Lord? Why can I so easily proclaim a hobby I like, without a second thought, but I can’t just as easily (or even more easily) proclaim my love for my Lord and Savior?
Then that got me thinking even more. I’ve been dealing with a lot of computer/web site issues for the past month or so. A lot. So I’ve been doing a lot of extra working, studying, surfing the net trying to find answers etc… When I have a problem with not understanding a technological issue, I don’t give up until I find the answer. I study and study, work and work, until what needs to be accomplished is. But, do I give that much time and study to God’s Word? When I have a problem in my life do I do a lot of extra studying, reading and praying to find the answer? Do I not give up until I find the answer? Does it take all my extra time (like a computer problem does) to find the answer? I have to say, right now, no, I don’t give as much time in studying the Word when issues arise in my life that I give when computer issues arise. Why is that? Why is it so much easier to work on one thing, but not on another? Why is it so hard for me to be and want to be in God’s Word?
I don’t know that I have an answer to any of this right now, actually I know I don’t have an answer to it. Not sure that I’m looking for an answer either, though feel free to leave your thoughts. It’s just what’s been on my mind the past couple of days and I felt like writing it out. Is the Lord showing me my priorities are out of sync? I’m sure He is with my studying, but I’m still stuck on the proclaiming I’m a Jesus freak thing. I guess I need to go pray and read until I find the answers.