I never realized how much my days just consisted of me sort of ‘floating’ through the day. I mean, I got things done, took care of my family, took care of my house, things like that. But I just did them as I wanted. If I wanted to clean one day I would, but if I didn’t want to, then I wouldn’t. Things needed to get done, but truthfully, I had as much time as I wanted to to get them done. Most days I didn’t feel like I ‘had’ to do things, I just did them as they came along, but things are different now.
Now that I’ve started working a couple of hours a day, things are very different. My friends who work outside the home 8 or more hours a day laugh that a mere 2 to 2 1/2 hours seems like a lot to me. But that’s ok, they don’t have to understand. I know I haven’t worked for over 15 years, yes 15 years. I’ve been a stay at home, homeschooling mom, and I’m enjoying every minute of it. When the Lord brought me this job in November, I was scared but excited at the same time. I knew I could do the job, but I also knew it would change things around here, and it has.
I’m not complaining, and I’m not saying that my family or home is suffering because I’m working, it’s not. What is ‘suffering’ is my lackadaisical attitude toward my day. My ‘oh I can play online for a bit before I do…’ thoughts are not possible most days. My floating through the day thinking I have time to do this or that whenever I want is gone. I guess, in a way, I’ve been lazy, though that’s not how I would truly characterize it. It’s like the title says, I wasn’t living intentionally. I had more free time. More time to make up for things if I didn’t finish them when I first started. More time to ‘play’ and do things I wanted to do. I mean, honestly, my children are teenagers and I’m not running after them all the time. I don’t clean up after them, or make each and every meal for them. I don’t have to keep them occupied and entertained, and now with Sarah driving, I don’t even have to drive them everywhere. I’ve had a lot of free, extra time on my hands, and with that time I wasn’t always living with a full focus on what needed to get done.
Now some of that extra free time is gone, and that has been the hardest part to get to use. At first I was getting all flustered thinking things weren’t getting done and I was feeling stressed. Then the Lord showed me that what needed to get done was still getting done. But my excess free time is what has changed. And since that has changed I have to be more intentional with what I do on my work days. Today was a good work day for me. I got a lot of other things accomplished today, along with my work, because I was more intentional with what I was doing. I tried hard to stay focused on the things I really wanted to get done, and I did them. I even wrote two blog posts today. 🙂 This is a model of how I want my work days to look. I need to remember this day in the future when I’m feeling stressed again. 😉
Again, I’m not complaining, or sorry that I took this job, it’s just the opposite. I am truly blessed by the Lord giving me this job, and I’m blessed that nothing has changed for my family. I’m also blessed that the Lord is showing me how to live more intentionally and getting the things accomplished each day that He wants me to do. That is a true blessing in and of itself. I guess my to-do list will be used even more now, which again, I don’t mind. I’m a list person, and I love to make (and check things off of) lists. 😀